Healthy relationships create peace, joy and comfort. For me, what makes a relationship a slam dunk is when I feel loved, can belt out a gut busting laugh and be myself. For the most part, new relationships are fueled with a certain energy that leaves us feeling giddy, engaged and happy. I’m talking about platonic, romantic and business relationships. If you go from feeling this magnetic energy with someone to a weird awkwardness whenever you interact, that means something is in the way. What is that?
Figuring out what weakened your connection with a person sharpens your emotional intelligence. When I visited my doctor in 2015, we had this great conversation about me losing sixty pounds. My follow up appointment was scheduled for January of this year, but I rescheduled the appointment two weeks in advance. It took me nine months to reschedule the appointment. What was in the way of me making the first appointment and rescheduling sooner? It was shame. Shame kept me from reconnecting with my doctor. I felt ashamed of not creating the success of losing sixty pounds. When I shared this revelation with my doctor, she compassionately said, “No judgment here. You’ll lose it when you’re ready.” I lost precious time in my doctor-patient relationship because I allowed “shame” to get in the way of our connection.
Do you have a relationship with someone where the connection has weakened? What’s in the way of you making your relationship better? Is it pride? Do you have too much pride to say, “I apologize” or “You were right?” Is it trust? Can you trust the person to listen to you with compassion? Or is it guilt, shame, sadness, stubbornness? What’s in the way of you offering a hug and an “I love you?” Finding the answer to whatever is in your way is the start of you feeling amazing and developing amazing relationships.
