When it comes to relationships, something is not always better than nothing. It troubles me to see people settling for relationships that bring them pain, sadness and emptiness. Your relationships should bring you joy. I often say, “It’s not them, it’s you.” You have the power to decide what you will and will not accept in your life. I love life because it won’t ever leave us without a choice. You DO NOT have to be with someone that does not add to your happiness. Here’s what I know, when you enter into a relationship with your own happiness, you’re more likely to continue to participate in other choices that extends joy to you. People cannot be one hundred percent responsible for your happiness; that’s too much burden for anybody to carry. Your mate will eventually give out of gas, if they were responsible for ALL of your happiness. It is up to you to monitor and maintain your happiness. How do you stay happy inside of a relationship?
- Know what it takes to make YOU happy. Consider what you need. Do you need more attention, affection, recognition, sexual exploration, vacation? If you don’t know what it takes to make you happy, don’t expect for your partner to know.
- Learn to play alone. Nobody can be your everything. If you’re not happy with being alone with YOU, don’t expect others to maintain long-term happiness in your space either.
- Give effective feedback with 3 simple steps: Offer comments to your partner about what pleases you about them; advise on area that needs improvement (if applicable); mention another positive attribute. The art of EFFECTIVE feedback is to start out with a positive statement, offer an area of improvement and then end with a positive statement. Using this format helps to close the conversation on a positive note.
Your immediate relationships should add to your daily happiness and not subtract from it. Remember, it’s not them, it’s you. You have the power to decide what you will and will not accept in your life.
