When I was a little girl, if a friend or myself had a crush on somebody, we would pull the petals of a flower while saying, “He loves me…he loves me not.” The last picked petal determined the answer of whether or not we were loved by our childhood crush. As an adult, I have learned not to look to a flower for the answer! I don’t have to ponder and wonder whether or not he or anybody else loves me because I will feel and see the love.
I can always tell when love is in the building. When love is present, I don’t feel judged, betrayed or unforgiven. I’m not experiencing prolonged sadness or anger. When I’m surrounded by love, I feel comfortable and safe enough to be vulnerable. I feel the invitation to be me. When love is present, I don’t bump into selfishness. I have the desire to accept others and support any changes they are willing to make. Being in this space of love creates a foundation for building beautiful relationships. My job is to do my part by presenting with love and staying open to receive love.
Challenges in relationships happen when the love is disrupted on some level. The disruption can come through not knowing the difference between feedback and criticism. Feedback offers information on the positive and what needs to be improved. Criticism only emphasizes what is wrong. Feedback offers a balance. Love is balance. That balance will always show up in the actions of the person. There is no need to wonder, “He loves me…he loves me not.” The answers you need will be available and end at a simple, “He shows me.”